I'm talking about that pre-grated quasi-cheese that they label 'Parmesan' in the store, even though half of it is plastic added to prevent caking. I mean, look at it: It's an off-white powder (like cleanser) ... sold in an electric green cardboard cylinder about three inches in diameter and six inches tall (like cleanser) ... dispensed through a little shakey-top that you can twirl to set how fast it comes out (like cleanser) ... and having a certain mineral flavor, but utterly lacking in authentic cheesy goodness (wait for it ... like cleanser). The resemblance is scary, once you start thinking about it.

(My mind wants to blame this idea on Dave Barry, but I can't be sure.)